Living Chaos

As time goes by the attacks are becoming more obscure. I can say that about 80%+ of the time I’m am not even sure what the handler is referring to. I get attacked for putting out a cigarette which is contrary to searchlight code.

This morning got woken up by a torture device that went up seven steps and had me shaking again (a torture that I haven’t felt for probably a good six months).

It started last night when I really needed to get something done and it became a bit frustrating then the attacks came relentlessly and I finally lost my cool. I feel bad but at the same time know that anyone pushed back far enough is going to fight back eventually.

Can’t even tell you how many times I got attacked today and I am not healthy. The slightest relaxation of breathing gets attacked. This is the we’re going to help but add some other way to attack that I’ve seen in Searchlight many times before. Until the unlawful are made responsible for their actions, I gotta keep living.

Update: Saturday 2:30pm

Got attack like 30 to 40 times when I was doing dishes. Ears not doing good. Do bad things…