Because of a misfortune in infancy, the nurturing and dependability that is often necessary for group fitting-in I have until no (45) lacked.
The effect of this has led my basic character to be initially off-putting to people. I still wanted good for people and tried for it but being fluid and sympathetic with people (when I originally encountered them) was seldom a thing I did. I did become real good at being impartial and thought it important; however, I now know it is more important to fit in almost always. How people feel and having an synergetic society is what is necessary. The larger, more universal, thinking is more conducive to peace.
I have always wanted good for others. I often would accept punishment for myself and watch others prosper. I deferred to others, followed the law, was a hard worker. Most of my effort was to try and fit in. I was labeled when I was very young as essentially an outsider (though the terminology of this was sometimes harsh, even by leaders). I gradually become more pleasant over time to try and fit in and had no positive effect. I am now 45 and I realize fitting in to a group requires bearing a serious aspect.
I would like to have friends, I would like to know people care about me. God is love, love it truth, I hope the people around me are guided by kindness.